‘Susan Shocks’ my new book for children. Get it now for £2.30 ($3)

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Seven brand new stories for children. Strange things are happening in the seaside town in which Susan lives. The seagulls have grown tired of begging for food from humans and have taken control of the promenade. Most of the grown-ups have run away screaming in terror. Eight-year-old Susan is not running away. She enlists the help of mysterious odd job man Mister Sixty in order to save the town from danger. The pair go on to face such weird threats as rebellious TV sets, out-of-control baths, and giant goldfish in order to defend the sleepy coastal town.. Finally, they must pit their wits against The Happysad in order to win the battle once and for all. The stories are exciting, funny and heart-warming and will captivate children from eight years old and upward.

Get it from (USA)

https://www.amazon.com/Susan-Shocks-Jon-Kenna-ebook/dp/B01II8D4TO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1468624011&sr=8-2&keywords=jon+kenna

Get it from (UK)

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Susan-Shocks-Jon-Kenna-ebook/dp/B01II8D4TO/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1468626296&sr=1-4&keywords=jon+kenna

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Stories or Chapters?

‘I initially wrote these as separate stories for children age 8-13 but found that, even though most of the stories can be read independently, there was a definite plot progression which meant that they were best read in a particular order. So it may be that the stories end up being called chapters or maybe I’ll just have a list of titles. Anyway, here’s the stories/chapters/titles in the correct order.’ JK

Contents

  1. Evil Seagulls
  2. Susan Shocks
  3. Bad Television
  4. Talk Talk
  5. Inside the Machine
  6. Ice Scream
  7. The Happysad

New look for jonkenna.com

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I have an official writer’s website which has just got a bit of a make-over. I’m going to try to use it a bit more than I have in the past so I’d love it if you’d take a look by going to

jonkenna.com

The first of the planned regular posts is a list of my top 5 books of fiction. How does it compare with yours? It would be great if you could become a subscriber at that site as well as this. If you do, I’ll come round to your house and bake you a cake.

IMAGINE LOCKING ALL THE DARKER ASPECTS OF YOURSELF AWAY IN A BOX. FEEL BETTER ALREADY,DON’T YOU?

Imagine a box. Imagine putting all the darker aspects of yourself, all the things you would rather no-one knew about you, into that box and imagine closing the lid. Feel better already, don’t you?

That’s what my book Mr. Mad is all about. There are two main characters in the book. Doctor Georgina Barnes is a respected psychiatric consultant on a busy hospital ward. She knows exactly how to convince people that she is confident, capable and in control. All of the darker aspects of herself are safely locked away in a box. No-one can threaten the façade. Not even fiery young Doctor Billy Craig?

The other main character is Redman. A year ago, Redman was a detective with the police. Now he’s an in-patient on a psychiatric ward. When a fellow patient falls to his death from the hospital roof, Redman’s cop instincts re-awaken. People say the old guy took his own life. Redman is not convinced. But if the man was pushed from that roof… who pushed him? And why are the hospital authorities so keen to avoid an investigation?

The doctors have suggested Redman imagine a box. They say he should imagine putting the symptoms of his illness; the voices, the hallucinations, the paranoia… into that box. Redman battles his symptoms in order to uncover the truth about the man who fell from the roof. Everyone on the ward is a suspect, even Redman himself. To solve the mystery, he must face his own demons. He must open the box.

MR MAD BY JON KENNA AVAILABLE NOW ON KINDLE
IN THE USA  http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Mad-Jon-Kenna-ebook/dp/B00THCJ11Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1423732027&sr=1-1&keywords=jon+kenna

Why Money Doesn’t Matter. Much.

ghostMost of this post is a joke, remember. Most of it. This first bit is not a joke, though. For a limited time only my book Ghost Road is available to download on Kindle for £0.77 (or for absolutely nothing if you have Kindle Unlimited apparently. What is Kindle Unlimited anyway? Is it anything like The Milk Man Unlimited ? I subscribed to that and he now brings me Muller Fruit Corners any time of the day or night. Sorry but can’t figure out how to do those two little dots over the ‘u’ in ‘Muller’).

Even though this post is mostly a joke, the book isn’t. It’s more scary than funny (I hope so anyway!). Have a look at the description at Amazon.

 

Now, I must draw to your attention the blood, sweat and tears that were spilled in the creation of this masterpiece of fear (my book Ghost Road, I mean, not this post). Four hundred pages and God knows how many thousand words…  they don’t just write themselves, you know. All those days when you were out there running through fields of flowers, cavorting on sun-kissed beaches or laughing as you prance naked through a Cumbrian mountain stream with Lord Melvyn Bragg… all that time, I was crouched, unshaven and clad only in string underpants, punching words into a moist keyboard.

All that effort and the bloody thing ends up selling for 77 pence!! Even the Pound Shop specifies a minimum quid charge for the (auto) biographies of Robbie Williams and Joe Pasquale (sorry but can’t figure out how to do an accent over the ‘e’ of Pasquale)

This is pretty much all a joke, remember. Actually, if someone wants to pay 77 pence for anything that’s emerged from the fevered brain of yours truly, aka me, then I’m happy. To be honest I’m happy if anyone reads anything I’ve written even if they haven’t paid a penny. Maybe it’s better if people haven’t paid to read my stuff because that means they can give an honest opinion, untainted by the exchange of filthy, stinking cash which was probably obtained through drugs or blackmailing minor members of the Royal family.

So feel free to help yourself to an almost free copy of my book Ghost Road from Kindle any time you like and don’t worry a bit about the ridiculously low pricing. I needed to draw my horns in a little anyway; cut down on all that food for the kids, forget about repairing that hole in the roof of our meagre dwelling… And just so you can do that, here’s where you can get it;

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ghost-Road-Jon-Kenna-ebook/dp/B00OL13GU0/ref=sr_1_1_twi_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1420241756&sr=1-1&keywords=jon+kenna

Of course the other alternative would be to pay a valiant £10.99 for a beautiful paper copy. It’s sold quite a few at that price so I really don’t mind about the 77 pence thing. No really. NO REALLY. You know this post was mostly a joke, don’t you? It really was JoKe.

 

 

My book is now finally available from Amazon

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mr-Mad-Jon-Kenna/dp/1291673466/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395480856&sr=1-1&keywords=jon+kenna

 

It’s take me three years to write and bucket-loads of sweat and tears but it’s finally gone online at amazon! The first book I did (Ghost Road) was born so easily compared to this one. They do say that your second of anything is the true test. Anyway I’m really proud of it so I hope those of you who decide to give it a try enjoy it. This one is a psychological thriller and is (I hope) pretty suspenseful. It also has an important sub text but who bothers with that sort of stuff? The two main characters are Georgina Barnes who is a consultant psychiatrist in a hospital and Redman who is a detective inspector suffering a psychotic episode. A patient on the same ward dies and Redman’s cop instincts tell him that it was murder but no-one believes him. Order it from amazon and find out who the true Mr. Mad is. You know it makes sense.

Am I the only one who likes pylons?

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Everyone hates pylons except me. I can see what people mean; pylons could be seen to ruin the look of natural landscapes with their aggressive points and angles. To me though, they often look really striking especially when you can see a long line of them.

The term ‘pylon’ comes from the basic shape of the structure, obelisk-like and tapering toward the top, and is mostly used in the United Kingdom and parts of Europe in everyday speech. The word is used infrequently in the United States, as the word it’s more commonly used for other things, mostly for traffic cones. It is the Greek term for a monumental gateway of an Egyptian temple consisting of two tapering towers joined by a less elevated section which enclosed the entrance between them. In ancient Egyptian theology, the pylon mirrored the hieroglyph for ‘horizon’, which was a depiction of two hills between which the sun rose and set. Pylons played a critical role in the symbolic architecture of a cult building associated with a place of recreation and rebirth. These days they just carry power lines so we can all put the kettle on for a Pot Noodle.

Because you mostly tend to be photographing them from the ground against a background of sky, they offer stark contrast between the black, straight, man-made, industrial shapes of the pylon and the smooth, rolling, flowing, natural presence of the sky. Black v. white, straight v. flowing, sharp v. soft, Man v. Nature. Contrast is always needed in photography. And life.

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IT WAS SUNNY!

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In the face of yet another delay to publication, I thought I’d offer you something to keep your interest going. These are photos of my amendments book. Looking at them now they look like a cross between a four-year-old’s scrawl and a serial killer’s crazed letters to the police. I’ve blanked out one or two bits that give away the plot but the rest is completely unedited. This gives you an idea of my state of mind in the last few weeks. Not good. The part that made me laugh when I read it back was where I’d written ‘Manchester on a typically grey evening’ and then added the amendment ‘IT WAS SUNNY’. The scariest thing about all this is the thought that we might have missed something. There might be twenty mistakes in there that no-one has noticed. There might be thirty… There might be a hundred… Oh God. Anyway, latest publication date March 1. Stay with me! Please!WP_20140211_016[1]

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Can anything ever be perfect?

The proof copy of my book arrived as expected. Excitement turned to anxiety, though, when I started checking through and started finding problems. It was mainly formatting stuff and might not be obvious to the general reader but is glaringly obvious to me. This whole experience has left me with mixed feelings. On one hand I feel like I’m being ridiculously picky and a stupid perfectionist with OCD. Nothing can be perfect, I know that. No matter how much I refine something it will still be flawed. But if you continue refining and refining and refining… you end up with nothing. It’s a bit like cutting and cutting away at a giant diamond in an attempt to make it perfect and ending up with a tiny gem which, even then, is still not perfect. Or like George Lucas adding little CGI inserts to his original Star Wars films every few years as the technology evolves and ending up with movies which are smooth and slick but heartless and soulless. I just picture my family and friends reading my book and thinking ‘oh that’s a mistake’, or ‘that wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.’ That can feel like a direct comment about me; not as good as people thought I would be.

I sorted out the problems as much as I can, anyway. It means another delay, of course, and all the problems that go with it. Overall, this second book has been a very different experience than the first one. In retrospect, the first one had a very easy birth compared to this. It went through with virtually no hitches or at least that how I remember it. This one has been beset with glitches and hitches.

On the positive side, reading through this book, I’m even more proud of the final product than I was of the first one. The first book had been written in my head for many years; all I had to do was spill it out onto the page. With number two I’ve really had to work at it. But it feels more professional, more crafted for that.  At the end of it all, I think it’s more entertaining. It will be February now by the time the finished book appears on Amazon and (on order, probably) in book shops. Oh yes and if you can’t afford to buy, just ask your local library to order it. Failing all of that, give me a ring and I’ll read the whole thing to you down the phone line. Or I’ll set it to music and sing it to you. I’m helpful like that.