We are currently mouse sitting Harry the Hamster (above). He needs cleaning every few days and likes to come out of his cage for a run around each night. Unfortunately he likes to run upstairs and pull out the carpet from under the bathroom door with his teeth. I don’t usually see the attraction to keeping animals like hamsters and rabbits as pets. If I was going to have a pet I’d choose one which would give me unlimited amounts of misplaced adoration and brainless affection like a dog or a footballer’s wife. But Harry and I have really bonded. Have to end this entry now; me and Harry are just about to phone for pizzas. I’m having chicken and sweetcorn; Harry’s having… Freddie Starr.