Reaching for the Unreachable

“What I need…what I really, really, really need… What I need more than anything else in the world… is longer arms.”


Fathers Day Squirrel Massacre

Spent the afternoon at Castle Park, Frodsham, Cheshire with Hannah and about a million squirrels. They are amazingly tame and came right up to us to take nuts. When one of them came up to me and asked could he borrow the car for an hour I thought it was taking things a bit far. Later, Hannah and I went to pick up Alice and Bunnie from Auntie Jo’s. I had a great Fathers Day; received lovely cards, wine gums, Frankie Boyle’s book, a Zippy from Rainbow keyring and a cuddly rabbit. I do think Fathers Day is a cynical and overly commercial con on the part of card and gift manufacturers but if I hadn’t got any cards or gifts I would have assumed the foetal position and wept silently until my head collapsed.


Alice in Woodland

If you take photographs of trees you can’t really go wrong. They just look great no matter how you shoot them. It does help having a gorgeous, amazing, cheeky little minx like my Alice around to add scale of course (and fun). Both these photos were taken on my rubbish mobile phone because my camera is out of action at the moment. Even if you’ve only got a mobile phone camera, just point it at trees and you’ll still get a reasonable result.

Trees seen when running (under cover of darkness)

Citizens Advice Bureau Wine

Cabinet Sauvignon for the drinking of

This is tonight’s booze of choice as officially endorsed by the Citizens Advice Bureau. As I type I’ve had 2 big glasses and I’m finding that all my problems are a little bit less painful. The CAB is good like that. There’s still half a bottle left and when that’s gone I’ve got a funny feeling that I’m gonna have no problems at all.

A Fool Head of Hair

Went to Chester today with Hannah, Amy and Tom. Fed the birds, hired a boat on the River and watched gladiators battling in the Roman arena. Oh yes, and I saw the best comb over I’ve EVER seen. Some man was trying to stretch 4 hairs across 19 miles of bald scalp! I didn’t have the courage to take a photo so the one shown here is just an example of what I mean. The one I saw today actually had far less hair. Why do men do this?! Do they thing we look at them and think ‘mmm… no problems there… full head of hair for sure’. He would have looked totally fine with a simple bald head. The sight of it made me feel a bit queasy. Every time the slightest breeze came those 4 hairs stood on end and did a kind of hoola dance. The man would then start scrambling around like he was trying to peel invisible price stickers off his head. I don’t like seeing people lose their dignity in that way. So many men do this including celebrities. I’m sure every person reading this can think of at least 5. The rest of the day was nice. Traumatic changes going on in my life at the moment so it was nice to chill out. Then Donald Trump had to go and spoil it.

Amy and Tom steering the boat
Hannah and a pigeon

Spiders’ Preferred Mode of Transport

OK this isn’t too clear in the photo but if I describe it you’ll see what I mean. I nipped to ASDA tonight and there was a big, black Hearse parked up there. It’s unusual enough to see one of those cars, most often used to carry coffins to funerals, parked at the local supermarket but even more incredible was the driver’s choice of dashboard ornament. Hanging from the rear view mirror was an exceptionally realistic big black spider. Not particularly comforting for the grieving relative I wouldn’t have thought.