The cat who lives across the road tried to charm her way into our house tonight. She was very plausible to start with but I noticed that she had brought two small suitcases with her. Soon afterwards she was sitting in the living room with her feet up on the coffee table, flicking through the Radio Times. Nothing would shift her. In the end we had to put Dogs Do The Funniest Things on TV before she’d leave. And three packets of fish fingers were missing from the freezer.